How do you make a mime talk? There are many ways. I prefer a baseball bat with a nail through it.

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Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

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Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

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ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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sucks Syntax...

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops