Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A Mexican walks into a bar. He walked out with a concussion. -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats black, and chrispy inside...? A black guy with bonecancer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops