What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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