FUS RO DAH!!!

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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Of course, first door on your left

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What's worse than an earthquake? Two earthquakes. What's worse than two earthquakes? Three earthquakes. What's worse than three earthquakes? The world exploding.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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