Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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