Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar Ouch He broke his penis So he ate it Then he saw a little boy They shaved their pubic hair together He raped the little boy He walked into another bar Double ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +6

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN cil you have such a dirty mind

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +6

2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops