When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

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Why could the little girl not swim? She had rabies.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

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how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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The Chinese government. The way they treat their citizens just isn't funny.

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yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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