What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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Alot of people try to make shitty jokes on this webpage, thinking they're funny. They aren't.

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THe Election

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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A ginger kid, a blonde kid and a brunette jump off a 50 foot building... All of them die apart from all of them because luckily there was a swimming pool at the bottom

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy?

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are powerful machines, capable of dismemberment and death when wielded by someone who wishes to cause harm

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*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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Why did Lisa spill her drink? Her plane crashed.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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Q: what did i say when i crashed into the twin tower. A: nothing i was dead

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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