Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

69.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

A good way to remember which one is Beavis and which one is Butthead is to remember the acronym "Baby Blues." B in baby stands for Beavis, and b in blues stands for Butthead. You're welcome.

Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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