Why did Johnny fall of the Swing?? Because i hit him with a shovel

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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Yes, I did not begin this alone, but things got complicated, you know who Alex Knight is right?

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The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

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nothing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. sama bin laden, is coming for you.

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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How to trick hundreds or religious people to drink cyanide? You establish a religious community in which you establish a ritual of drinking Kool-Aid once a day and one day switch the Kool-Aid with cyanide.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

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A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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A man was complaining about not getting enough sleep. He was then raped.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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