a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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Whats the leading cause of death Life.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

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So one time there was this woman learning...

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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Q: How to fit 10 babies in a suitcase? A: By blender Q: How to get the babies out of the suitcase? A: Using a straw.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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