What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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What is funny to watch but stinks of shit. Jews oh and SBB they both stink and are funny to watch.

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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