What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops