Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

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Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

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What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

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Q: John eats 50 cany bars, eats 45, how many does he have now? A: Diabetes

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

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oh hey.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

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You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other: "Hey are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease?? the other cow says "Nah, not at all mate...!" "Why Not?" says the cow "Because I'm a CHICKEN!"

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Why couldn't the Asian man satisfy a woman? He was in a coma.

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A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops