A woman walked out of the kitchen.

What's black and doesn't work? My blackberry

Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

An Icelandic boy hangs himself because of peer pressure. His family mourns for their loss

one of the idiot

A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the kid? Red because he got hit by the bus.

Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

What's the best anti-pest control of all time???? The Holocaust.

If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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