A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

Hats better than a stick? A stone

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

What did Steve say when his leg got chopped off? Nothing, he went into a state of shock before blacking out due to loss of blood. Later on, he died, and a week later, a funeral was held, in which nobody showed up, because nobody cared for Steve.

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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