i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

rawrrrrrrrrrrr

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

What is short and yellow? Most Asians

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

Justin Bieber

70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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