Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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http://www.com/

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car because he was depressed and contemplating suicide.

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? He didn't, animal control took the dog away from Helen because she could not properly care for the dog.

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Q: What did the farmer say when his tractor broke down? A: oh noo my tractor broke down.

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What did one fat chick say to the other fat chick? Who cares, they're fat.

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TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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Dont be mean Dyslexics are teople poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops