I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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Advertiser: Charlies Tax---------- Advertiser: OMG, who are you... Pedobear: Hello kids, come in my taxi(Van) :D

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

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What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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Why does a woman with a little dark skin and black hair a Native American? Because she smells.

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What did Batman say when he saw Robin? Hey look it's Robin

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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What do you call a blind person? Mack Despard

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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What's the most popular fruit in the U.S.? Bananas What's the most popular vegetable in the U.S.? Stephen Hawking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops