Why did the little girl's pet bunny pass away? Because her neighbor ripped out it's vitals.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A guy walks into a bar and hears a someone crying. He asks the bartender who is crying and the bartender says "It's my goat. He's been crying since Tuesday, I'm giving a $500 reward to whoever can make him stop." So the man walks to the back and whispers something to the goat's ear and suddenly the goat starts laughing. The bartender was so amazed at what happened and says "Wow, thank you kind sir! Here's your reward money." and the man takes the money and leaves. The next day the man returns to the bar and the bartender says "Hey, ever since you made my goat laugh he hasn't stopped. He's been driving me nuts. I'll give you another $500 to make him stop." So again, the man goes to the back of the bar and whispers to the the goats ear. Suddenly, the goat start crying again. The bartender can't believe it. He asks "How in the world did you do that? What did you say to my goat?" The man says "Well the first time I saw your goat I told him a joke." "Okay, that explains why he kept laughing..." the bartender asks "Now, what did you say to make him cry?" The man replies "I told him..." Suddenly the goat escapes and goes completely crazy and kills everybody in the bar with his horns. Till this day no one knows what the man said to the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the baby fall out of the crib? it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops