How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I stole your wallet and used to buy a prostitute. I had a great time. What was the question again?

Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

George W. Bush

What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

Rosie are red velvet blue I made eggs just for you

What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

Everybody will die

Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

Matthew Baker

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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