Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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