- Anti Joke

Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: starts to laugh Yeah...that's a funny cup.

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

What's worse than having your t.v. stolen by a Mexican? Getting raped with a chainsaw.

A paralysed man falls over.

You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No Oh... well he hasn't either

What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

justin beiber sucks

What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

Why did the black man go to prison? He committed a crime that had a penalty of several years in the state penitentiary.

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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