do you have a wife?

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

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whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

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News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

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If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

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What do you do at a club? You club.

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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A: Why are black people so good at sports? B: Practice and determination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops