An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Why can't jesus hold skittles? They'd fall through his hands.

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

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So a guy with no legs and no arms is on his death bed. He asks to sky dive one time before he dies.

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Why did little Lisa fall off the swings? She had no arms

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Q: If Alma have 4 corners..? A: Then there must be something wrong with Alma...

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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Why is the alien dead as a door-nail? Because the door-nail was never alive nor could it ever be dead therefore the alien must have never existed just like the life and death of the door-nail.

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What do you call a Mexican kicking a ball? A soccer player

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What's worse than being a midget Being a midget with no legs

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GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

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What happened when the boy fell off of the bridge? He died

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

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What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

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What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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