If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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What did the midget say to the other midget? "We're midgets"

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If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

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*knock, knock* "Who's there?" *knock, knock* "Who's there?" This went on for hours, as man 1 was deaf, and man 2 was blind.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

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What do Sandusky and micheal Jackson have in common? They are both white.

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What do you do when a sing is stuck inside your head? Put a gun to your head, and shoot the song to death. It will work. Trust me. Youll never hear the song again. Or anything again.

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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What do you call an blank test? an F

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how do you get a man with a gun out of your house? you don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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