Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He felt like crossing roads that day.

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

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What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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What's brown and sticky? The stuff that comes out of your anus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops