life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a yelling, enraged Asian man? A fucking asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's living, purple, yellow, and green? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

thumb_up thumb_down +16

- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Continents are large islands.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops