How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't.

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

why did the boy stay home from school? it was saturday

Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

Why do black people have a bad reputation? Because they do bad things.

What has two legs and two arms? A Human

Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

feminine literature

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

WOMENS RIGHTS

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

Justin Bieber.

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...