What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's big, black and hard to swallow? A bowling ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than burnt toast? Getting molested

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Error 37.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops