What do you call a blonde who passed the SAT's? An excellent student.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What's a Gingers favorite drink? Coke!

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A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

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watched pride and prejudice last night. I hate period dramas... too much blood

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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why was the asian kid the only one to get an A+ in the test? He spent the longest time studying and was therefore better prepared than the other students.

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A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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