Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

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Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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Swag.

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

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What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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