Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

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Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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A black man and a white man and a chinese man are sitting together: Cultural Diversity.

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are white Daisies are yellow Why am I naming flower colours?

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your momma so fat.... that as she walked by....... i missed 3 commercials

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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