What did the little gril with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple.

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Name a country that begins with the letter U A. True B. False C. All of the above D. None of the above

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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Why did the baby boy start crying? He got hit with a toaster

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Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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A black man and a white man and a chinese man are sitting together: Cultural Diversity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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