What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

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What kind of coffee did they drink on the Titanic? They didn't. They all died.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall Humpty dumpty ha a great fall Hunpty dumpty's skull was split in two

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

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What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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Q:Whats Brown and sticky? A:Maple Syrup

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84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

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why couldnt helen keller drive she was a woman

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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Q How do you know when a gay walks into a bar A Albert rushes over and starts feeling him up

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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