Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Do u take sugar?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many chinese women can you fit in a car? About the same amount as men.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's long, hard, and full of sea men? A: A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Girls get fucked Boys fuck Gays puke

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A month after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, a typhoon hit the city killing another 2,000 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. Knock Knock A. Whose there? Q. how am i supposed to know why don't you answer it and find out you dumb ass! gosh.... people and their common sense these days!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

EVOLUTION OF MODERN SAYINGS 1 The Samurai: If at first you don't succeed, kill yourself. The British: If at first you don't succeed, give up The Americans: If at first you don't succeed, sue someone, then try again in hopes of a larger payout next time

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This is not a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops