How do you get a tissue to dance. You don't.

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in china a dog was being cooked on the grill he was seasoned ans eaten by a black man

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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What happens if George Washington is still alive? World population increases by 1

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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A bar walks into a man

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What do you get when you jump into the Red Sea? Wet.

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what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

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A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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Your mom is over the average weight for a person of here height and age.

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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how do you upset an obese cat? you put her in dog sweaters

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Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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A blind man walks into a bar. Another man asks him if hes ever seen the new movie that came out. he then replies, "i heard it" then curled up into a ball and cries for several hours.

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What's worse than walking into a lampost? Your seven year old child accidentally finding and watching a sex tape that you made years ago.

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A Jewish man and a blonde were in a DIY store, the man buys a box of screws. The woman gets a phone call to find out her son is late for tennis training. She then hangs up the phone and leaves the DIY store with great hast.

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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