Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Why did the Taxi crash? The cab driver was trying to remove the frog stapled to his face.

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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YOU: Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy swimming in a pool? Nothing except one has melenan in their skin

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

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CHORGLUND

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a blond girl walks into a bar

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yo momma's so dumb she attended a dyslexic test and was proven mildly autistic.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

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what is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babes. when i saw the Porsche i told the guy nice car and he was like yea whatever then i went and killed 50 babes and lost conciseness when i woke up i saw the Porsche again and thought what a nice car and when i saw the babes i thought what kind of monster killed all those babes

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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Knock Kock Who's there Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley is a fictional character in the novel To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Don't cry.

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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A black man walks into a bar holding a weapon. He is asked to leave to leave because weapons are not allowed in the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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