What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Once upon a time, The end.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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Who was at the door when Helen Keller answered? She doesn't know

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Did you go swimming in the Carribean Ocean? Yes, a shark ate my body, and killed me! Thank God I'm still alive!

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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So a rouge names creampiiemaker was walking in the vast lands of the arathi basin when a night elf druid with 585 stan and a resil rating of 6750 asked yo bro you wanna duel, the rogue asked with a grin on his face if the night elf was kidding, they then shook hands and went out to gold shire, village and dined on porridge made from the finest vendor, they then warsonged it up all night for mad honor points and got lap dances in gold shire tavern.

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hi anti joke

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Why did the boy jump in the van? Because his parents had just been in a terrible car accident.... There where 2 fatalities.

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What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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