how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a Black Man in the ocean? A scuba diver

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why was the old man on the ground he fell

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the sign say? It said slow down

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did that guy die? because the SS thought he was a jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

My computer crashed today I was watching porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops