A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

Its true, he didnt write that!!

69

Why can't Ray Charles see? Because he's dead.

What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

Why did the Jewish girl fall off the swing? Because Amon Goeth shot her in the head from his balcony with his rifle. --Amon Goeth's friend

What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

how do you make a plumber cry A: kill his family

If you spill milk Don't cry over it..... Clean it up.

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

Why couldn't the boy turn around in the hallway? Becasue he had a javelin through his head

What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

Do you believe in Santa? Cuz i don't. Kookaburra

so an apple walks into a bar... I'm terrible at making jokes...

Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

how do demolish a building alkekwhakbar

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

YO FACE

Why did the chicken cross the road? We are not familiar with the specific circumstances, therefore its difficult to determine exactly why.

What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

Roses are red Violets are FUCKING VIOLET NOT FUCKING BLUE

Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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