What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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If 3 days ago was yesterday and today is Friday, how many legs does 7 dogs, 3 ducks, and 2 chickens have if the answer was red? Okay, not to sound rude but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say.....yo mama is so fat when she read this joke she ate the whole bucket of popcorn and didn't even share.

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I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair.

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Why did Henry fall down the stairs? Nobody knows, nobody cares. Poor Henry.

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Me, id rather be known as the antijoke rather than the antichrist, I offered him water at the desert just because I care. You killed him. Moral: Once you see the point of this joke, myself, I will be the one laughing, ten years and counting humanity, ten years or so, and the world belongs to me.

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What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER by her real name because she is a woman and worthy of my respect.

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

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What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops