What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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What was the last thing Batman said to Robin before they got in the Batmobile Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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Did you hear about the comedian cereal killer?...He raped his victims before strangling them to death.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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5 - samios in a wheelchair.

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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