Not a joke.

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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How many people does it take to light a fag? I love BBW porn!!!!

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what does matt daly like to do in his free time anal

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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How did the little boy get down from the top of the empire state building... He took the elevator

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Nobody knows, it's impossible to determine the motivations of an animal that is incapable of speech.

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what is a mix of a bull dog and a shih tzu. a bread of dog that has a shaggy face and long hair

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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What do you get when you cross a Fish and a Duck? A Dish

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What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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How many light bulbs does it take to garner an unnecessarily large crowd of a single ethnic group of people working together to simultaneously replace said light bulbs and uphold their cultural stereotypes? What the hell's a light bulb? I'm a culturally illiterate Amish man.

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What did the muslim get for christmas? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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