Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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What happens when a women becomes pregnant? She gives birth to a child 9 months later.

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Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

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Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops