When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Yo mamma's so fat, that she weighs alot.

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what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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What happen's when you give an alcoholic whiskey? He's an alcoholic, so he drinks it.

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A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

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Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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What starts with N, ends with R, and is a black guy? NeighboR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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