A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

What did Mel Gibson say to his wife? I apologise for my rude behaviour and intolorable cursing.

Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

Whats worse than a fart joke? A queef joke.

Q: How do you know your gay? A: When you have unexpected desires for men, which is a sin to a religion, so the choice of being gay is against the bible and you would soon be sent to the pit of fire we call hell.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

I run, but I have no legs. I see, but I have no eyes. What am I? A prospective result of future medical advancements that allow the disabled to live normal, healthy and fulfilling lives.

Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

the redsox

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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