Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was shot In the face. Why did the cow fall out of the tree it was stapled to the monkey.

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What do you call a guy with aids? Your dad

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the Mortgage company. You haven't payed your loans. The man loses his house and becomes homeless.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about green? That seems mean...

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

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Roses are black Violets are black I lost my eyesight at two years old and all I see is black.

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why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the side of the road? A: To get to the other vagina

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops