what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, and I'm blind .

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson? A collision, if Michael Jackson were alive.

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What happened when the turkey jumped out of the airplane? It fell.

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...youre ruining its natural diet. it might die.

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Justin's life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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