a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

Why was the boy upset? His penis fell off and his mom was making him go to the library.

why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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