What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

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What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

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three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

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What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

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Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

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A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

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What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

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Roses are red,violets are blue you want me but i dont want you!

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Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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